Yesterday, my daughter and I were scrolling through old photos from when we lived in Richmond, VA. She laughed at seeing herself as a “little person,” while I was struck by how much she remembered, even at such a young age.

In those photos, I found a picture of some cracked bricks on our old house. At the time, those cracks filled me with anxiety. Were they spreading? Would the porch collapse?

Looking back, I realize those bricks were more than just bricks. They mirrored the cracks in my relationships at the time—with my wife, my friend, and even with my parents and siblings. Fear kept me from deep connection. I worried about rejection, betrayal, abandonment. So instead of going deep, I built walls and held back. And the cracks widened.

Divorce forced me to face those fears. In losing what I thought I had, I learned who I was and how I wanted to show up—unafraid to go deep. Depth matters.  It comes with risk and discomfort, but it also brings the richest rewards.

Today my relationships—with my daughters, my family, my friends, others, and most importantly God—are richer and deeper than ever. I share not only in their pain, but also in their joy, excitement, hope, and celebration. To me, this is where real satisfaction lives.

So let me ask you: Are there walls holding you back from deep connection? Are there cracks you’ve been avoiding? What might happen if you pushed past fear and chose to go deeper?

Alex

gerberxc@gmail.com