“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all that you do, and he will show you what path to take.” Prov 3:5-6
“Acknowledge him”…“Seek his will”
What does it mean to acknowledge God, to seek His will in all things?
→ Found here in the original Hebrew is “Yada”, which implies a relational knowledge and intimate “knowing” (as Adam knew Eve).
→ In all things, lean into and on your relationship with God. He knows you intimately. Go to Him, be near Him, draw near Him in everything, in relationship with Him, and He will (His promise) direct your steps (actively) and show you which path to take – whether in opened doors or removed obstacles.
Come to Him in humble dependence and submission to His hand on your life, guiding you where He knows will be best for you and others and His Kingdom.
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What are you facing today that you can bring to Himfor guidance?
Can youtrust His goodness in directing your steps?
A primary expectation, opportunity, and privilege of a life spent following Jesus is work. Enjoyable, energizing, tough, difficult, richly rewarding work. If we follow Jesus, within this work we have been given a task, and we are expected to carry it out– both individually and collectively. And while we have different gifts to use in different ways, there is no difference in the overall task assigned to us: reconciling people to God.
I wanted to explore a few key words from a passage in 2 Corinthians 5:
→“Katallassō”= to reconcile, restore to favor, to exchange hostility for peace and friendship, completely and fully
→“Diakonia”= ministry, service, responsibility entrusted to someone
Put together, these imply a “ministry of reconciliation”.
→“Presbeuomen”= ambassador, to act as a representative, on the behalf / authority of someone greater
Reconciliation involves a state of making something right– turning separation into relationship, hostility into peace, and guilt into forgiveness– completely.
Our work– our responsibility and ministry– is to serve as ambassadors, with this message to others of reconciliation with God offered through Jesus Christ.
This work is relational work, and we are tasked with building relationships, which is critical to this ministry.
Before anything else though, this all starts with our personal reconciliation with God. Only then, can we move forward in representing Christ (and his heart) towards others in our lives, working through:
• mercy • forgiveness • kindness • compassion • love • humility • service
Tough Reality
A man who professes to follow Jesus cannot fully complete this mission, this ministry and this task if he is isolating, hiding, running from relational conflict, avoiding, retaliating against, or harboring bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment towards others.
And, there is no work harder – more challenging – and often painful, than engaging in real relational work, because it often demands a lot of you.
But, there is also nothing more rewarding than working towards this task. Consider…
Personal rewards — friendships, right relationships, peace with others, joy and delight here on earth
Kingdom rewards — others made right with God – eternal life, glory, peace, fruit, and joy.
So…
Moving Forward
Work hard to represent Christ
Work hard to draw others to Him.
Look for opportunities and ways to do this work.
You may (and should) find yourself pleading with and for (“parakaleō”) others, yet never forcing.
Each relationship in front of you may provide an opportunity to participate in this ministry.
Become a “welcoming invitation” to draw others towards God through your words, your actions, your story, and your life– this is your work and the task given to you.
“[18] And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. [19] For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. [20] So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” [21] For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 5:18-21
—————- Writer’s note: I’m not a theologian – I’m just a regular guy in Charleston SC who enjoys diving into God’s word in the morning. As words (and coffee) sink in, I journal and love sharing what I’m learning. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to reach out to me at gerberxc@gmail.com
“As God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanks giving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” 2 Corinthians 4:15-16
Is there anything you are facing today that is making you feel ready to give up? Consider these words in 2 Corinthians 4.
Our present struggles – even though they may not appear to be – are small and brief. But what they can produce is eternal and weighty!
In the original language, “skopeō” is used for “fix your gaze”; it means to “scope”, observe, focus, consider with intention. To me, this is “the way we think about what we see”.
What can we see?
Circumstances
Trials
Suffering
Material things
The visible experiences of this world
What can’t we see?
Eternal glory
Spiritual transformation
Our eternal inheritance
God
Understanding that what we can’t see is far greater than what we can allows our perspective – mindset – to shift, especially in hard circumstances.
When we focus on what we perceive to be happening to us, it can be easy to think “this isn’t fair”, feel discouraged or even hopeless, and feel that there is no point, purpose, or end to what we are facing.
But when we look at reality through the lens of eternity, and consider what is being worked within us and through our circumstances – things that last far beyond what we see – we can discover how Paul could say “ that is why we never give up.”
How are you thinking about what you can see today? Consider the perspective offered in Corinthians as you look at what you are facing. Your present troubles may seem huge, painful, and difficult, but I encourage you to look beyond these to what they are producing, within you and for God – who alone can give you the strength to endure.
Lift up your eyes and fix your gaze on Him today. Don’t give up.
“It is impossible for that man to despair who remembers that his helper is omnipotent” – Jeremy Taylor 1613–1667, English Bishop + writer
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Writer’s note: I’m not a theologian – I’m just a regular guy in Charleston SC who enjoys diving into God’s word in the morning. As words (and coffee) sink in, I journal and love sharing what I’m learning. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to reach out to me at gerberxc@gmail.com
This is a journal entry of my thoughts and learning this AM; please excuse any content or grammatical errors due to not enough coffee.
Why Romans?
I’ve been in Romans chapter 12, and deeply considering why this chapter is placed where it is, and what it means. In reflecting this AM, I expanded my view to the entire letter to the Romans.
Here’s What’s I Learned:
Paul stretches out God’s plan, including the reality of our predicament, need for a Savior, and riches of God’s mercy towards us through Jesus Christ — the gospel — in chapters [1–11].
★ His response is worship — awe and reverence!
→ How great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! → How impossible for us to understand His decisions and ways! → Everything comes from Him → Everything exists by His power → Everything is intended for His glory
★ And so Paul pleads — because of all God has done for us, and who He is — give your bodies to God as a living sacrifice! This is the way to worship Him.
And now, because of what God has done…
Allow God to work in you, transforming you into a new person by changing the way you think (renewal).
Then: ★You will know God’s will for you (purpose).
How You Will Change
you will grow in… [Romans 12–15]:
• A more humble mindset • A more honest self-evaluation • A greater sense of “body” belonging • An ability to use your gift(s) well • Really loving others • Hating what is wrong • Clinging to what is good • Delighting in honoring others • Working and serving the Lord hard and enthusiastically • Rejoicing in hope • More patience in trouble • Consistently praying • Helping those in need • Practicing hospitality with eagerness • Blessing and praying for those attacking or opposed to you • Empathizing with others • Living in harmony with others • Enjoying ordinary people • Always seeing ways you can grow and learn • Not paying back wrong with wrong • Living honorably • Not seeking revenge • Treating your “enemies” well • Not allowing evil to conquer you • Continuing to do good • Submitting to appointed authorities in respect and honor • Loving your neighbor as yourself • Living a “decent” life • Clothing yourself with the presence of Jesus • Not thinking of ways to indulge your fleshly desires • Accepting other believers who are weak in the faith • Not condemning or looking down on others • Living a life of goodness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit • Serving Christ with this attitude • Following convictions • Building up others in the Lord • Living in unity and praising God with others • Overflowing in confident hope through the power of the Spirit
While there are likely more ways your life will change, this captures the essence of growing in:
Love Humility Patience Goodness Kindness Peacemaking Gentleness Self-control Joy Faithfulness As well as service toward God and others.
These are the “evidences” of a changing mind and transforming life, offerings of a person living in light of the understanding of what God has done for them. Without that understanding and motivation, this may simply become a “morality list” of someone trying harder to “be good.”
★And so, here is the great news of understanding the gospel of Jesus Christ I have learned from a review of Romans this AM:
Understanding who we are, what He has done, accepting Him as Lord of our lives, and allowing His Spirit to do the renewing work within us begins to grow and produce these fruits, allowing us to live in greater evidence of a transformed — changed — life, reflecting Him, thereby worshipping God and loving others.
A man has a choice when faced with divorce, and each day going forward – he can turn towards the world and what it offers to help him cope and survive, or he can turn towards God and what He offers.
I have seen that – no matter what a man thinks or says – he chooses one of these paths.
What the world offers sounds and feels enticing and satisfying, but it offers very little – in fact, only three things:
An appetite for physical pleasure
A craving for everything we see
Pride in what we have and what we have accomplished
These are transient, temporary, and will not lead to an abundant life, because the appetite of the world is not aligned with what God desires. What these offer, especially in hard or painful circumstances, can lead to comparison, coveting, envy, jealousy, arrogance, poor choices, physical, mental, and emotional damage, broken relationships, and temporary self-satisfaction at the long-term expense of others.
Contrast this with what God offers when a man turns his heart toward Him in divorce:
Salvation
Grace + mercy
Right-standing with God
Forgiveness
Relationship + friendship with God
An eternal inheritance
Life-changing peace, hope, and joy
A transformed mind
All we need in our circumstances → patience, strength, endurance, longsuffering, wisdom, etc
Growth in fruit of the Spirit
Love and sacrificial service for others
These are not transient – I have found they offer true help, hope, and guidance in and beyond the circumstances I have faced and may face in the future. I have seen these change lives and relationships for the better. I have seen men thrive, even in divorce, when they turn this way. And above all, these have an eternal impact.
If you are a man facing divorce, you have a choice today. Which way will you turn?
_______________
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. 1 John 2:15-17
When I stand before something majestically grand, I can’t help but feel a sense of awe tugging at my soul. In that place, I understand why worship has been a sacred part of humanity for thousands of years. And while this is a reverent topic, it’s something I feel like we often either overcomplicate or compartmentalize. I wanted to better understand worship, and I invite you, wherever you are, to take a journey with me here deeper into this topic.
What is worship?
Looking into this word, I found that worship is….
→Relational
→Personal and communal
→Spiritual and physical
→Sacrificial
It involves….
→Heart allegiance
→Honoring what is supreme
→Service to what is sacred
→Connection to something greater than ourselves
To me, worship is so much more than music, a church service, emotions, or feelings; and, it’s not confined to a place. To me, worship is giving glory and praise to something or someone we see as sacred or supreme, by willingly and adoringly offering ourselves in service and sacrifice to that which we worship.
What do you worship?
What is supreme in your life? Your answer may reveal what you worship. We will likely give our hearts to something (or someone) that we hold in value above all else. And our lives–and way of living–will follow. This may point towards who or what we are worshipping, even if we don’t realize it.
→How we live may reveal who or what we worship.
→The way we make choices may reveal who or what we worship.
→The way we respond to challenges and move through trials may reveal who or what we worship.
What motivates you to worship?
Dive into this question: Why do you worship?
For me, understanding what I have been given–the rich mercy poured on me–is what drives me towards worship. I know I have nothing apart from God. For me, to fully grasp this truth and live in the gratitude produced by it is to be able to truly worship.
How do we worship?
To me, worship involves giving something to someone–giving honor, reverence, time, attention, and even our life. I think of the things that we may give ourselves to, willingly or unwillingly. For me, when the act of giving myself in worship happens willingly, through love and a deep reverence for the One I see as magnificent and supreme, something powerful happens-a soul-singing praise that emanates from the deepest part of myself.
For me, because of what I know God has done for me, it is reasonable, logical, rational, and incredibly freeing to give myself as a sacrifice to God. I know that He wants all of me. All of my life–my time, my gifts, my connection and relationship with others, my heart and my soul, to be used for His purposes and the good of others.
And finally, for me, understanding how I worship comes through a renewal of my mind. This takes an ongoing renovation in my pattern of thinking, my perspective, my mindset. Having a mind that is becoming more aware of the love and mercy of God allows me to truly worship him with what I have.
Where is your heart going in worship?
With men, I can see that our hearts and lives are often pulled towards:
→our job
→our spouse
→our hobbies
→our families
→ourselves
While we can be pulled towards good things, there can be a subtle shift from valuing something to worshipping it; from “important” to “supreme”. Our choices, mindset, time, service, and patterns can reveal what is ultimate to us. And, in my perspective, any drift away from worshipping the one God from which all things are given and exist, towards worshipping something else, is distorted and dangerous, both to ourselves and others.
To me, it all matters. In view of God’s mercy towards us, our whole selves–mind, body, soul, and spirit–should be given to Him. There is no area of our lives untouched by His mercy; and so there should be no area that remains separate from our worship of Him.
Truly worshipping Him is truly living. I see no other version of life that will fulfill us or bring more delight than giving our hearts–all of who we are–to our Creator as an offering for what He has done for us.
At the end of the day, I want to please God. I know He wants all of me, and I know He wants all of you. What will you give?
To summarize, worship that is given willingly through a surrendered life, 24/7, done in love, coming from the heart, motivated by gratitude, fueled by adoration, encompassing the whole self, and honoring the Supreme Creator is, in my understanding, is true worship and is what is most pleasing to God.
Moving Forward
→Where is your heart going today and what do you find yourself worshipping?
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Romans 12:1
If you asked leading men’s voices what the secret is to facing the hardest things in life and still remain content, here’s what they might say*:
Jordan Peterson, a psychologist focused on meaning and responsibility, would likely say contentment is a byproduct of voluntarily carrying your suffering with truth and aiming at a meaningful goal
Jocko Willink, a former Navy SEAL and leadership coach, might say don’t chase contentment—focus on discipline and mission, and satisfaction will follow execution
Ryan Holiday, a modern Stoic author, might say contentment comes from mastering your perception and seeing obstacles as training
John Eldredge, the Christian author on masculine identity, might say peace flows from knowing you are a beloved son in the middle of the battle and not fighting alone
David Goggins, the endurance athlete, might redefine contentment as the earned pride that comes from not quitting
Andrew Huberman, the neuroscientist, might point to regulating your nervous system so stress doesn’t hijack your inner state
But my favorite answer comes from a short, bow-legged guy in shackles who wrote letters around 2,000 years ago. If Paul was podcasting or hosting workshops for men in 60 AD, his words would be bold: “Hey guys, I have the secret! Do you want to be empowered to face anything and everything in life well and remain content? I know how.”
Paul knew trouble–he faced beating, abuse, hunger, shipwreck, and even stoning. While writing the letter in which this passage is found, he was in prison. And yet even there, he can say that he, in any circumstance or situation, whether good, bad, or terrible, knows how to be empowered and infused with inner strength to endure, prevail, and remain content.
What’s his secret? It sounds simple, but I had to dive into understanding his source. Hang in here guys-even if you aren’t spiritual, you should find something in this.
“Through Christ”
Here’s what I have learned:
Paul’s insight speaks into every kind of hard circumstance a man may face–including divorce
His inner empowerment is relational, not materially-based or circumstantial
The strength he gained was derived from who the relationship was founded in–not self-driven
The closer I am to Jesus, the steadier I can remain when life hits hard, and the more content I can be
Joy, peace, and contentment are linked: when I experience joy from a close relationship with Jesus, I can also experience contentment in the peace of that relationship, regardless of my circumstances
Ultimately, the answer I see here to finding contentment is not “try harder”, but “abide”; Paul understands real contentment is rooted in a relationship. It is not self-driven, but relationally supplied by one who truly has the power to supply all that I need–Jesus.
When the primary relationship in a man’s life is being lost in divorce, being united with Jesus Christ offers real peace, internal strength, and endurance to face the situation and remain content. This doesn’t mean he will always feel that way, or that the pain, suffering, or circumstances will go away–but they no longer have their controlling power because of Christ’s victory.
Men, we are invited to participate in a life empowered in abiding with Jesus, where our minds can be given new perspectives, our hearts can be given strength, and our souls can find contentment, because of his Spirit living and working in us.
This world needs men who are rooted, perservering, and steady, no matter what they are facing or what is happening around them. It also needs men who are content, because they are empowered by something more powerful than their feelings, themselves, or their circumstances.
Do you want to be a man who can face anything, even (arguably) the hardest thing a man can face–divorce–and remain content? Look to Jesus to lead you through this–He is the source we need to be truly content.
Moving Forward
No matter where you are at or what you are facing, ask yourself these questions:
What is your source of contentment?
Is it greater than the situation you are in?
Will it last longer than your circumstances? Does it bring you peace?
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“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13
Today I am going to take you through some of my journey in the hopes of showing how truth and integrity work together, through love, to impact relationships. This was personally the most challenging part of my story to write about, but I can’t think of any other topic more important and relevant for guys.
Men, I hope that after reading this, you will have a greater understanding of the value of truth in all your relationships, the danger of giving up your integrity, and the urgency to bring truth and personal integrity in all things. No matter where you or I have been or what mistakes we have made, I hope this helps us look towards moving forward in truth.
Building Stronger
I see 2 foundational elements of a healthy relationship: love and truth. Remove, alter, or replace even a small piece of these with anything else, and the relationship may begin to crumble. I see love and truth as inseparable–without truth, love is empty; without love, truth is harsh. It takes very little for the foundation of truth in a relationship to begin to erode, thereby impacting love.
It’s easy to show that great lies can wreck marriages and relationships; but small pebbles of distorted truths that begin to sink “relation-ships” when they accumulate are often harder to notice. Hear my story out: If you want better relationships, start small and build well with a foundation of truth and love.
The Lie
I learned at a very young age that manipulating truth and lying could get me out of punishment. But “the lie”–the one I remember and consider a turning point in my life–happened when I was around 8 years old. I had received a pocketknife on a trip to the Smoky Mountains Knife Works on a family vacation, and it was the coolest thing I owned. I remember playing with it one day, and it slipped and cut my finger. As the blood was dripping out, I went to look for a bandaid. My mom saw me and asked what happened. Out of fear that she would take away my knife, I lied. I told her I had cut my finger on a plastic toy–hardly believable. I think she saw through this at the time, but did not ask any more questions, and I was able to keep my knife. And so for me, my journey away from full integrity in life and relationships began there. It may have been here that I began to believe that this path would work.
My biggest fear was almost always the thought of losing something important to me, so I learned to manipulate the truth, most often in subtle ways, to avoid consequences and protect what was important to me–primarily my image and what others thought of me. This pattern continued through my teen years and into adulthood. It carried into my marriage; it carried into my friendships, and eventually almost all of my relationships. It became a huge part of my identity, and impacted the way that I related to others, as I often felt afraid of losing my image. Without realizing it, fear–and the fracturing of truth and integrity in my life–was breaking me. It was leading me further away from the ones I wanted to be close to, and closer to my biggest fear–being alone.
It can be easy to neglect to notice the impact of losing integrity slowly in the small details. Like the drip of a leaky pipe under a home, the effects may not be immediately noticed. But over a long time–pull back the floors–and you may have a huge mess. Tell a half-truth once and you may get away; tell them many times–and you will likely pay a price, in a number of ways. Your relationships may suffer, you might hurt the ones you love, and–if your conscience is not seared–you might live deeply unsettled, lacking inner peace. I speak from experience.
Finding Integrity: 4 Pieces to Wholeness
What keeps a man from being truthful and developing in personal integrity? Fear? Avoidance? Concern for others? Selfishness? Pride? Trauma? While this is a complex and layered discussion, I believe that some form of fear ultimately underlies a lack of personal integrity and truthfulness in a man’s life.
My journey to change directions and grow in personal integrity and truthfulness began with understanding four things:
1. How deeply fractured I was
2. What drove me to not be completely truthful
3. What the impacts were on the people I loved
4. How deeply loved I was
Integrity can be defined as “the state of being whole and undivided”–and I was a divided man. Internally, the fracturing of truthfulness in my life led to personal unsettledness, inner turmoil, heaviness, and a discontented soul. This pulled me further inward and away from others–even though I wanted to be close to them. This also brought inward shame that caused me to pull away from God.
I’ve explained some of what was behind the lack of personal integrity and manipulation of truth in my life–self-protection, fear of punishment, image perception, and fear of loss. But what hit me hard in the gut was understanding how much this hurt the ones I loved. A lack of truth led to loss of trust; the small compromises of complete truthfulness were leading to incremental losses in my relationships that revolved around trust. This led to more distance between me and the other person in the relationship, even when I was trying to avoid losing the relationship.
I remember my eyes beginning to slowly peel open as I began to see the impacts of the wounds that my lack of integrity and truthfulness had caused. And there I met crossroads: I could continue on the same path, or turn to another way. Looking back, the path I had been on appeared comforting, but was littered with broken relationships and heavy costs. It had ultimately left me alone and left me controlled by fear–and I was exhausted. I desperately wanted to move towards truthfulness, at all times, no matter the cost. I wanted peace. But my fear–it was still controlling and crushing me!
Until I met Love face-to-face. Understanding this kind of Love began to change my direction. I discovered that with this Love comes a desire for integrity; and with integrity comes a mended soul, a lighter heart, and a deeply settled peace. I’m not perfect, but I don’t have anything to hide. I know this is the path to take and the place to be. I can live in a growing wholeness that comes from my open relationship with God and the power that He alone supplies to change my desires, overcome my fears, and grow in truthful living.
Moving Forward
What is your aim? Are you looking for growth in integrity? Are you searching for “wholeness”?
I hope my story leaves an impression in your mind, especially if you are looking to move forward in personal integrity. Please understand how much the little things matter. White lies, half-truths, fudging the facts, omitting the details—these feel easy in the moment and less noticeable the smaller they are. But over time, these “pebbles” sink ships. In contrast, showing up with personal integrity and truth, in the small things, over and over again, builds character and trustworthiness, and moves a man towards wholeness.
If you are looking to grow and want to love well, then every word, conversation, email, text, and message that comes from you should be founded in truth. If you want to truly love others, live this way. It won’t always be easy, and may cost you, but the price is worth it. Don’t try to do this alone–find other men to help and hold you accountable. Finally, think on this: In and through Jesus alone, we can become men who don’t have to live in shades of truth.
“Search for truth, find it, and cling to it. Only in truth can you love well and live whole.”
1 John 4:16-19, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.”
There’s probably nothing that brings more dread in my heart in home health care than bed bugs. Even if I can’t see them, the evidence that they are near is often clear. One thing I have learned through all my experiences with bed bugs is that no one wants to admit that they have them. The feelings of embarrassment and shame are too weighty–even when bugs are crawling on everything and everyone.
So I had to think about bed bugs: they cause so much unease, discomfort or itching; they leave traces of themselves all over; they’re not really hidden. This made me think about home health, because the uniqueness of the home care experience is that life is not hidden easily when someone steps into your home. Sure, it’s one thing to step out and go to a medical clinic and put on your best face; but it’s another thing to be seen where you are–at home, in the reality of what you are facing. This is the depth of the intimacy of home health care–there’s little room to hide.
What matters most as clinicians is how we respond to these openings and areas of vulnerability. Are we willing to respond with compassion? Even in the hardest places, are we willing to ask our patients what they need? Are we willing to respect and care for them in their weakness; to encourage and help them when they feel embarrassed or ashamed?
Home health clinicians have an opportunity to bring compassionate care to each home that they step in, no matter what is hiding beyond the door.
Moving Forward 