Moving Forward

Facilitating Personal and Relational Growth

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I live hard, love deeply, invite freely, gather passionately and follow Jesus wherever he leads.

  • Living Satisfied: Building Deeper Relationships Beyond Divorce

    Yesterday, my daughter and I were scrolling through old photos from when we lived in Richmond, VA. She laughed at seeing herself as a “little person,” while I was struck by how much she remembered, even at such a young age.

    In those photos, I found a picture of some cracked bricks on our old house. At the time, those cracks filled me with anxiety. Were they spreading? Would the porch collapse?

    Looking back, I realize those bricks were more than just bricks. They mirrored the cracks in my relationships at the time—with my wife, my friend, and even with my parents and siblings. Fear kept me from deep connection. I worried about rejection, betrayal, abandonment. So instead of going deep, I built walls and held back. And the cracks widened.

    Divorce forced me to face those fears. In losing what I thought I had, I learned who I was and how I wanted to show up—unafraid to go deep. Depth matters.  It comes with risk and discomfort, but it also brings the richest rewards.

    Today my relationships—with my daughters, my family, my friends, others, and most importantly God—are richer and deeper than ever. I share not only in their pain, but also in their joy, excitement, hope, and celebration. To me, this is where real satisfaction lives.

    So let me ask you: Are there walls holding you back from deep connection? Are there cracks you’ve been avoiding? What might happen if you pushed past fear and chose to go deeper?

    Alex

    gerberxc@gmail.com

  • What Man Are You Becoming?

    7 Characteristics Worth Pursuing
     (3 minute read)

    It’s a quiet Saturday morning. You have your coffee, and you’re looking out the window. You’re not thinking about mowing your lawn, or cleaning out the garage—you’re wondering, “Am I becoming the man I always hoped I’d be?”

    Here’s the truth: You are becoming someone. The question is, “who?”

    Your time, choices, and habits are shaping you. The man you’re becoming will be revealed in the way you love, lead, and live today—and tomorrow.

    If you are single — it’s easy to focus on the kind of woman you hope to find… but neglect to become the kind of man you need to be.

    If you are married — what kind of husband are you becoming? Are you focusing on the areas you can control and improve?

    Here are 7 characteristics of a man worth pursuing:

    1️⃣ A man who fears the Lord
    Strength doesn’t come from our own sufficiency and ability—it comes from walking in humility before God and with God.
    Where are you walking?

    Action: write down one area of your life you’ve been keeping in your own control. Consider releasing it to God today.

    2️⃣ A man who leads with sacrificial love
    It costs to love–personally. Are you giving, protecting, and serving, even when it costs something?
    Is everything you do done in this kind of love?

    Action: consider doing one thing this week that costs you comfort for someone else’s good

    3️⃣ A man of integrity
    Who you are when no one is watching is the truly the man you’re becoming.
    Who are you and what are you doing when no one watches?

    Action: identify one area where your public and private life don’t match, and work to close the gap

    4️⃣ A man with self-control
    Your words, your anger, your desires—how are they directing you?

    Action: ask a close friend, family member or spouse to call you out this week if you lose control in speech, tone, impulse, or attitude

    5️⃣ A man who serves and is hospitable
    Real strength shows up in the willingness to lift others up and to open the doors of your life and home towards others.
    How have you been serving?

    Action: invite someone into your life or home this week for no other reason than to bless them

    6️⃣ A man who denies himself
    Self-denial is not passivity or weakness. It’s rejecting selfish ambition, controlling impulses, living sacrificially, and doing what is good and just.
    Who are you living for?

    Action: say no to one thing you want this week so that you can say “yes” to something that truly matters

    7️⃣ A man who keeps good company
    “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.”
    The people you have around you are shaping you. They are a huge part of your character development.
    Which direction are they moving you?

    Action: evaluate 1-3 of your closest friendships and the direction they are moving you.

    👣 Call to Move Forward
     The man you will be in 6 months, 5 years, 10 years—is built by the decisions you make today.

    Which one of these 7 stands out to you most right now—and why? drop your answer in the comments below.

    References: 📖 Micah 6:8–9, Psalm 1:1–3, 1 Timothy 3:1–7, 1 Corinthians 16:13–14, Matthew 20:26–28, Luke 9:23, Proverbs 20:7

  • The Way You Treat Your Wife is Defining You As a Man

    Husbands–you are leaving an impact on your marriage and your legacy. 

    Every word, every action or inaction, every sound or silence to her, is telling the story of who you are.

    How are you treating your wife? Do you love her as much as you love yourself, and treat her as you would your own body? 

    A friend of mine once said he would ask his wife “have I been gentle and kind?” It was much later that I was struck with the courage of him to ask her this question as a regular evaluation of how he showed up to her. It took a humble man, willing to hear the truth and grow. Are you that man? 

    The Heart of “Husband”

    The word “husband” means a man in relation with his wife. And real relationship is established and grows with love and gentleness. It cannot thrive where harshness walks. 

    Harsh words, cold tones, emotional silence or retreat, or dismissive looks can close her heart.

    But a husband who is gentle, patient, and loving invites his wife to open and thrive. Where gentle kindness abides, her heart can feel safe, seen, and loved. 

    Husbands, do you want to see her thriving with you? 

    Here’s what I’ve learned:

    A gentle husband…

    • Approaches his wife with humility
    • Strives to see his own heart, motives, and intentions clearly
    • Fights to root out impurity in his own life and heart before highlighting hers
    • Leads through service, asking, “What does she need? What is best for her?”
    • Loves sacrificially: prioritizing her emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being above his own
    • Never crushes or coerces: his words are kind and gentle, his actions protective, his heart humble
    • Builds her up: sincerely speaking life into her strengths, beauty, and character
    • Always tells the truth: kindly, without manipulation, with integrity in word and action

    Hard Questions:

    Husbands, ask yourselves

    • Is there any harshness in the way I am treating her, speaking to her, or acting towards her (including pulling AWAY from her)? 
    • If there is, FIGHT to root this out of your life.
    • Is there humility and gentleness in the way I am treating her, talking to her, acting towards her? 
    • If there is, BUILD on this–MULTIPLY it!

    Even if your marriage is strained—or if you’re separated or divorced—how you treat the woman who once shared your life still defines you as a man.

    • Are you respectful?
    • Do you honor her in word and action, especially if children are watching?

    Men’s Daily Practical Applications 

    • Take responsibility to root out your own impurities and see where you are missing the mark. Ask for help where needed. 
    • Check your heart: Am I frustrated or resentful toward my wife?
    • Check your face + tone:  Nonverbal communication speaks loudly. 
    • Serve first, lead second: Start by meeting her needs first. 
    • Seek to understand her: Ask open questions from an inviting heart that wants to listen.
    • Soften your heart: approach her with compassion and understanding, in light of your own struggles and shortcomings 
    • Always Choose gentleness: especially in conflict, let love lead.

    Your Impact as a Husband

    You are leaving a mark on her heart.  Make yours good. Start today.

    Your marriage and legacy are being defined in the way you treat her—minute by minute.

    Questions or comments? gerberxc@gmail.com 

    www.movingmenforward.com 

  • Failure ?

    It’s hard to admit when I have failed.

    The greater the failure, the harder it becomes to admit.  My list might read like….

    Husband–failed.

    Dad–often failing. 

    Man– yep. 

    Friend–yeah, quite a bit. 

    It also amazes me how deep my self-pride goes. It is so easy and so natural to want to make my mistakes and failures less than what they really are, to others and myself. 

    And disturbingly, the more accurate my self-assessment becomes, the wider the gap I see between perfection and where I am, or where I have been…..between “good” and “me”. 

    BUT…here’s the GOOD news…

    He’s already made a way for me. 

    We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:22-24, NLT

    It blows my mind to watch God make something beautiful out of the broken pieces of my failures; out of the messes in my life. So many second chances, new opportunities, each day! 

    In fact, I could sit here all day and tell you about the things He has done and the things He is still doing. Yes, I’m happy to tell you about it! Me @ 803-237-0628. 

    And so, the wider the gap I see, the greater my appreciation for what He has done FOR ME, through Jesus. God IS good.

    This, friends, brings me hope today.

    Failure? Not in His eyes.

  • The Mindset a Man Needs

    Men, how do we move towards goals of increasing our humility, love, leadership and service?

    It may all start with our mindset. 

    “Mindset” is a well used word. This is similar to our “attitude”, “way of thinking”, “outlook”, “perspective”.

    What is your mindset regarding humility? Love? Service? How does this manifest in your actions towards others?

    In his letter to the Philippians, Paul describes a mindset (from the Greek word “phroneo”) worth pursuing, that is characterized by the following:

    • Encouraging
    • Tender
    • Compassionate
    • Humble
    • Serving
    • One that is not selfish or trying to impress
    • One that thinks of others as better than ourselves
    • One that truly looks out for the interests of others
    • One that surrenders power for purpose
    • One that values fellowship and working together
    • One that prioritizes the well-being of others

    This mindset is rooted in example: A real, flesh and blood demonstration of servant leadership. The mindset, the attitude, and the actions of Jesus demonstrated a heart that:

    • Prioritized the well-being of others over himself
    • Lowered from King to slave
    • Exchanged divine privilege for humble service 
    • Lowered from heaven to earth
    • Exchanged life for death
    • Exchanged honor for shame
    • Brought a willingness to serve even at the greatest personal cost
    • Was driven in full obedience, no matter where it led

    The mindset of Jesus was fueled by love. His heart was set completely in his love towards us and his Father.

    His “heartset” resulted in a “mindset” of service, humility, love, leadership, and greatest purpose. 

    So, as Paul describes this attitude, this mindset worth pursuing, worth emulating, this “heartset” to me, is rooted in a heart that KNOWS love, from a real example who IS love. 

    What is your mindset today? Where is it pointing? 

    Alex Gerber, Gerberxc@gmail.com

    (Writing today is personal reflections from reading Paul’s letter to the Philippians, Chapter 2.)

    For deeper thought:

    As men, we can seek to emulate these qualities in our mindset, and we can strive to act in a way that demonstrates that our mind is set in these things. But there is a much greater opportunity available, one that is ready to shift the fundamental attitude of the heart away from self and towards others. One that can shift towards a life and purpose fully rooted in and fueled by love.

    Jesus has an invitation open. His heart is turned towards you. If you have not encountered him yet, I encourage you to seek him, and in that, you will find the best you will ever know. 

  • How Men Change

    Written by Alex Gerber, Moving Men Forward

    Background

    I’ve been wanting to write on this topic for a while now, and I’m very excited to begin. I realize that my perspective and understanding may change somewhat over the next month, year, and decade. But for now, this is what I know, what I have experienced, and what I have heard. I will be releasing this writing in pieces, over the course of the next several months.

    I hope, above all else, that this will bring curiosity, encouragement, hope, clarity, and an invitation to seek true, lasting change. 

    Do men change? Can a man really change?

    I’ve heard both of these questions answered “no”, and “yes”.

    In writing on this, I want to:

    • Present evidence for the reality that some men do change, and change dramatically for the best
    • To argue that men are actually changing, every day (for better or worse)
    • To present different perspectives on how men change, including societal, research-based, spiritual, testimonies, and personal experience

    I hope to gently provide support to say that, “YES”, men CAN change (for the better), men NEED change, and men DO change.  

    The change that I focus on here is positive, right, lasting, fruitful and beneficial change; it is not merely behavioral change, but it is a true shift of the inward man, of the HEART, towards what is good and right.

    I will reason that it is not possible for a man to produce this kind of change alone or solely on his own effort; and that a true inward shift (HEART change) is only produced through something far greater and more powerful than himself, and he will have to look outside of himself to find this.  

    I will reason that for a man’s heart to truly change, he will have to “lower” himself to a place where he realizes and acknowledges that he needs this kind of change, and realizes that he CANNOT do this by his own strength. He will have to surrender.

    And, I will reason that all attempts and efforts to change, without GOD will ultimately fall short, fail in performance, and even, in some cases, lead to a worse condition than the start.

    No matter where you stand on faith or beliefs, I hope you will find this insightful, informative, and inviting, and that you will share your input.

    Introduction

    “There’s a way that seems right to a man, ‘Til he’s in over head, and he don’t understand, All the plans he made, it only led him astray…” -Josh Garrels, Morning Light

    Men, we are moving.

    We are moving each day. Towards or away. Towards what is good, and right; what is the best plan and path for our life; or away from it. Towards the man we were designed to be, or away from that man. 

    We are changing. 

    This is not a passive process. We don’t simply “remain”. We are either actively moving and changing into a new man, a better man, the man we are called to be, and heading towards what is right and best, or we are drifting into complacency, apathy, laziness, or at worst, evil.

    The title of my writing, “How Men Change”, has an underlying implication that change IS already happening, whether a man realizes or acknowledges it.  

    Which direction are you moving and changing towards?

  • On Pride and Humility

    Image- Seedbed, https://share.google/3VqzLpo7cqmhzdD3L

    Moving Men Forward
    On Pride and Humility

    If pride is one of our chief downfalls as men, and is the root of many poor and destructive decisions and behaviors, it seems then, if pride can be identified and uprooted, we will show up as completely different men. Right?


    But, how do you root out pride? How do you humble yourself? Is it possible to do this on our own without external circumstances or forces?

    For clarification, the pride I am referring to here is, from the Greek, “hubris”. Hubris is often considered an excessive and detrimental form of pride, and is characterized by “excessive self-confidence, arrogance, and a disregard for others, often leading to negative consequences”.

    This pride is self-sufficient and self-destructive. It connects our identity and value to what we have done and keeps us from seeing our motives clearly.

    In contrast, it has been said that “Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less”.
    Humility is not self degrading or insecure.


    Humility is risky. It might ask us to give up a self-focused lens (what others think of us, what we have, our own authority and intuition, etc) for a greater good.

    So, how does a man humble himself?
    Can he, in his own strength or will….

    Turn (away from pride/ego and selfishness)
    Recognize (his own limitations, weakness, and blind spots, and where/how his own ambitions, desires, and intentions are self-focused)
    Acknowledge (he is not in control)
    Seek (truth)
    Allow (others to speak into his life)
    Receive (instruction, counsel, and guidance)
    Express (heart) gratitude for what he has and that it has been given, not earned
    Trust (not solely in himself but something better and greater)
    Give (away his worries, anxieties, and need for control)
    Act (humbly)

    To identify and root out pride, some men believe we should….

    1. Recognize and Reflect
    Pride often hides in unnoticed patterns—thinking you’re always right, needing validation, or looking down on others.
    Honest self-reflection, feedback from trusted people, and life experience can mellow the ego and reveal blind spots.

    2. Practice Conscious Humility
    Intentionally put others first, but don’t become a doormat. Balance strength with humility.
    Let your actions speak louder than your words. Be proud inwardly, but resist seeking outward attention.

    3. Speak and Listen with Awareness
    Align your words with a humble heart. Listen more, speak less.
    Cultivate self-awareness in conversation and seek grace to speak with humility.

    4. Stay Rooted in Faith
    Scripture and prayer are foundational in humbling the heart.
    Verses like Philippians 2:3, James 4:6, and John 15:5 remind us of Christ’s example and our dependence on God.
    Prayer is a daily act of humility — a surrender of control and ego.

    5. Surround Ourselves with the Right People
    Humble community shapes a humble heart.
    External circumstances and relationships often accelerate personal growth.

    Men, can we do this work alone?

    While personal decisions and self-reflection are essential, many men agree that true humility is deepened through faith, feedback, and life experience — not isolation.

    Personally, I believe that for some men, myself foremost, it can take (or took) a massive wake-up call, fall, or hard experience to open eyes to pride. It can take hitting the floor and knees, in dependence and surrender, to begin the lifetime journey of ripping pride out of our hearts.

    For me personally, it has and is taking more than myself to get towards the roots of pride in my heart. It has taken a compassionate Father who knows my needs and loves me greatly. I have found, as in James 4:6-8, that “He gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you.”

    Thoughts or questions?

    Alex Gerber
    Moving Men Forward
    Gerberxc@gmail.com

  • The Kind of Relationship a Man Needs

    Is there a relationship that brings a man deep contentment? Confidence? Safety and protection? Security? Gladness? Pleasure and delight? Gratitude? Profound joy?

    For the past 2 years, I’ve been studying one man who seems to have found it. Even in the midst of terrible circumstances, this relationship kept him unshakeable.

    The shepherd-king, David, in the 16th Psalm, speaks of the relationship that brings him all of the things in the first sentence above, and more.

    When doubts and threats came, David KNEW where the Lord was: right next to him. This knowing brought him a glad heart, rejoicing, and a body that rested in safety.

    David knew the Lord would show him the way, providing perfect guidance.

    David knew the Lord would grant him the joy of His presence and the pleasure of living with Him forever, no matter what happened to him. This presence would not leave him and could not be taken from him, bringing him deep confidence, hope, and assurance even in the darkest nights.

    David asks for safety; he KNEW to whom he had come to ask this and asks with confidence because of WHO he is asking.

    David brings complete gratitude in saying and believing that “Every good thing I have comes from you.”

    The best that David is experiencing, his inheritance, is already being realized in the blessings and favor he experiences through his relationship with God. This relationship is his greatest possession and his highest source of joy. 

    For David, his safety, protection, pleasure, delight, confidence, gladness, hope, contentment and joy are ultimately found in his relationship with God, who to him, is the source of all good things.

    What relationship in your life brings you the most confidence? The most contentment, hope, and joy? The most gratitude? The deepest security?

    If you can’t find a solid answer, then I’d encourage you to move towards what David KNEW and EXPERIENCED…Ask God for this relationship. I am confident he will show you and you will experience what it is like to have this relationship with Him. 

    “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11 NLT 

    Thoughts?

    Alex Gerber

    gerberxc@gmail.com

    803-237-0628

  • One Man’s View Inside His Deepest Relationship

    I’ve never been asked to write about my deepest relationship. It feels almost too complicated, or even sacred, to even try to put into words. But, I have a tongue to speak, and fingers to type, and a mind to think, so I will try.

    To understand where I am with God, I’ll start with where I have been. 

    Distant. Cold. detached. Lonely. Hurting. 

    Longing. 

    Wanting him. Wanting his presence.

    I always wanted him. I wanted to feel his love. I knew there was more than what I felt or experienced. I just couldn’t seem to grasp it. Something kept me far away. My sense of failure, inadequacy, or hurt and anger, I guess. I couldn’t bridge the gap. 

    Then, he was always up. Up there, watching, but it felt like his face was turned away.

    My pride. My ego. My pain. Blindness. Selfishness? Something always seemed to create a gap between me and him that my longing and trying couldn’t close. 

    I remember the turning of my heart, again (September 2023). My world was on fire, excruciating. Pain and loss. Hopelessness. Crushing darkness.

    I remember his light began to pierce through that darkness. Flooding. Overwhelming. Something began to flood my heart that I had never felt before. It lifted me, it felt light, I felt like I could run on legs that were new when I knew I had begun to hear his gentle voice in my very inner being.

    I remember my heart turning towards him. 

    I experienced his love in a way I never knew love. (February 2024)

    It was gentle, not harsh. It was kind, sensitive, pulling me in. It was tender and compassionate. It was powerful and intoxicating, energizing, nourishing, and absolutely life giving. 

    I began to experience his presence in my thoughts. I began to become more attuned to hear the gentle presence of his voice in my mind, the push in my heart, and burning in my soul. Joy came. Peace came. The sadness, the pain didn’t all end, but it was fully engulfed in the richest moments with him.

    Now, I experience him in many ways. Most powerfully, most intimately, when I am alone. Often, when I am feeling pain, loneliness, and grief, I feel his powerful presence like something surrounding me, engulfing me, washing over me. 

    I hear a gentle whisper “you are mine”. 

    I feel a warmth flood my soul and my veins like I never knew. 

    I experience him in the eyes of the people I look into. I hear their stories. As I see their pain, longing, their hope. He gently pushes me to go towards them, to listen, and speak a word of encouragement that he brings to my mind. Usually this comes from something I have read in his word.

    I feel his presence when his spirit is moving powerfully. It brings a warmth and chills at the same time, even goosebumps, and I know immediately he is present and stirring up something powerfully in the moment and I am able to be a part of that. It brings a flood of joy to me. It is always, undoubtedly, him.

    I have trouble quieting my mind, very often, to be sensitive to what he is wanting to tell me. I often journal, asking a question, and waiting to see what word (s) will come to my mind. I know they are his when they are truth, life, light, not harsh or critical, but gentle. 

    To me, he almost always feels near, ready to receive me when I turn to him. No matter how I am feeling. But it is in the quiet spaces that I experience him the most intimately. 

    I feel his peace, a confident rush, when I am moving towards what he is pressing on my heart. 

    I feel tension, wrestling, when I push back against where he may moving me to be.

    I feel frustrated when I ask him to speak, to give me directions, and I receive silence. Or, perhaps not silence, but not a direct answer. I still don’t understand that. If it is a complicated matter, I do not usually feel the movement or voice of a yes or no answer, but something like “please me” or “honor me”. 

    I think he gives me a lot of freedom in what I choose. And when I mess up, he’s never harsh on me. He’s always gentle, sometimes firm, but still gentle and guides me to hear, almost always, “you are my son, I love you”. 

    How can I explain my relationship with God? It burns like fire. It showers me with overwhelming joy and euphoria. It brings me to my knees in weeping tears. It floods my emotions. It explodes my senses, and quiets my mind. 

    I see and experience his presence and where he has been and where he is moving each day. Small things. Small comments from a stranger. Light streaming through the green leaves. A smile. Eyes that sparkle. A soul and body crushed in pain. Even in the darkest places, the signs of his presence are visible and known. His grace to keep a heart beating and breath in the lungs. 

    I feel confident when I go to him and walk beside him. 

    I feel hesitant, doubtful, and anxious when I step away. 

    I ask to see his face. I ask for him to show himself to me particularly when I am discouraged, when I need help or hope or confidence. And he always does, usually through people and experience or words with them. 

    The deepest experience of him is on my knees, alone, crying out. Or walking alone in a quiet beautiful space outside. 

    I’ve felt him right beside me the strongest under the oaks and on the island beach. 

    How do I know it is him? Sometimes, I’m not sure. I’m not always sure when he is speaking or guiding me. I feel a small push sometimes, or something that keeps coming up within me, that might be his spirit prickling something inside. I can silence it. I can distract myself from it. But I know I don’t want to do that because I feel it may be him pushing me gently towards where he is guiding. 

    I feel that he often uses people, who affirm the same message, to gently guide me. 

    The easiest way for me to describe my relationship with God, to me, is as a son is to a good, good father. 

    I ask him. I need him. I bring my needs to him.  I want him to be next to me. With him, the usual things don’t scare me. My doubts run. He protects me. I feel his strong presence, as a child would to a father. And when I hurt, I cry out “daddy, please take this”. 

    He is easy to come to. He is not distant, but near. He is not harsh, but gentle and kind. He reaches deep in me and brings a deep, confident comfort and assurance that says “I am right here”

    The best, is that I can go to him each day, whenever and wherever I want. For me the best is the quiet morning or the evening walk. That is when we most often talk. And there he says,

    “I am right here”.

    Alex Gerber

    gerberxc@gmail.com

  • Guys, It’s Simple…

    honesty and truthfulness. It starts here….