Moving Forward

Facilitating Personal and Relational Growth

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I live hard, love deeply, invite freely, gather passionately and follow Jesus wherever he leads.

  • A Miserable Man—No More

    I’ve been asked why she left. 

    While I don’t have all the answers for my divorce, I do have one response: I am not the same man that I was. 

    I am a storyteller; here, I hope to accurately and truly convey mine. 

    A Man’s Dream

    In 2021, I moved to Charleston with the hope of a dream. Perhaps life would be better here; perhaps we would find that dream home and neighborhood and everything would be happy. The pandemic had shaken the foundations of my life. My community–gone. Friendships–none. I felt so alone. I had often numbed out from the reality of all of this through endless youtube and news scrolling that left me detached and absent emotionally. 

    Things did not improve here. My first job in Charleston was not what it was supposed to be. I quickly discovered the company was floundering. My work dried up, and I was beyond stressed trying to figure out how I would sustain our family, all while trying to find our dream home. This was turning into a massive challenge and a hidden financial stressor for me. I was struggling to find community, and had no friends. My marriage was unraveling, our connection getting more strained each day. My faith was dry and God was distant.

    I was a miserable man. 

    A Man Alone 

    I kept all of this in.

    Even my wife did not know what I was experiencing and feeling. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was supposed to handle it on my own–but nothing was working. I kept trying to figure everything out, alone. In the spring of 2022, I entered the darkest season of my life. I was majorly depressed and didn’t know it. The pain, the loneliness, the irritation, the stress seemed too much to bear.

    “You need friends.”

    The words she spoke to me at the time revealed how alone and miserable I was. This was the truth–I did need friends. She encouraged me to go to a men’s retreat. Although I did not realize it at the time, as I look back, this was the start of the turn towards a different way of life for me. 

    Can I explain to you how miserable it is as a man to feel alone? To feel like everything you face–every challenge and stress–has to be faced and “handled” solely by you–worrying that you might weigh someone else down by sharing? The feeling that because you are a man, you should be able to handle it all and figure it out on your own? Through this dark season, I slowly began to understand that there was another way to live.

    I was not living. 

    The Encounter

    There have been many small, incremental turning points in my journey over the past 3 years. And several big ones–separation and divorce, grief, and loss among those. I tried so hard to figure out–on my own–how to face and manage these. All of it–everything I tried to fight so hard to control–seemed to slip away and through my fingers. I tried to change myself. I tried to be a different man. I tried to be happier and more whole. I tried my hardest to live. 

    It took the most profound moment of my life, a night in October of 2023, to change my perspective and my life. For months, I had been crying out, “God, if you are real, help me. Give me clarity.” And there, laying alone in my bed that night, I saw my life and who I was as a man appear before my eyes. I felt my heart opened up by two invisible hands, and everything inside was revealed to me–ALL of it. The deepest, darkest corners of my heart were illuminated. It was too much to bear! And there, in that moment, I felt a voice saying “I love you”. 

    My journey from there began to change significantly. The pain did not go away completely; the hopelessness still felt overpowering; the sense of failure and shame was often too much to carry–these led me to face the end of myself and almost my life. But today, I am here. I am alive! And it is not because of me, or anything that I did. 

    My Hope

    This is what I want you to hear: it is not because of me, or anything that I did. 

    I did not, on my own efforts, accomplish or work out who I am or where I am today. This change–this understanding, was given to me, through the fullest experience of love I have ever encountered.

    It was revealed to me, small at times, and overwhelmingly huge at others. I was incapable on my own of fully seeing who I was inside and knowing how to truly be alive. I know now there is only one thing that could have opened my heart and my eyes to see, and to Him I give this story and my life. 

    I was a miserable man–but no more!

    I have felt the crushing weight of the chains of performance, the misery of guilt and shame, driving decisions and scarring relationships. Now, I have been experiencing a new way of living–a new life. One that is not marked by my failures and mistakes, but which is based on the hope and love that I have found in God alone.

    He did this!

    It was all through Him and by Him, and my life and my work now is for Him. For me, this is the truth I have found and the hope I am eager to share with you.

    You may question this, or be intrigued. Perhaps you are spiritual–or not. No matter where you are, if you know me or don’t, I hope you will ask, “how did this miserable man get to where he is now? How did his life change?”. And my answer is simply and profoundly–God’s love. 

    The Friend 

    I found a friend who never leaves me. A friend who is always with me; who has been with me through the hardest and darkest seasons of my life, and is in all of the joy and gladness and beauty I now experience. He is my greatest friend.

    I am not alone. 

    If you would like to learn or hear more, please reach out! 

    Alex Gerber 

    gerberxc@gmail.com

    803-237-0628 

    http://www.movingforwardministry.org

  • Willing to Change: Chad Cannon’s Story

    Convicted felon. Liar. Addict. Alcoholic. These words may reveal Chad’s past, but do not define his present or future.

    I am thankful for Chad’s candid, raw courage to share his story, as it brings great insight to how a man truly changes.

    Listen here:

  • Lover of My Soul

    What words can express the joy of being known by this kind of love?

    Lover of my soul–You chase after me and never stop pursuing me!

    You are so so good. Your gracious mercy has lifted me high!

    Your tender compassion soothes my anxious heart. Your love revives my soul!

    To you–to you alone–do I run. My heart draws every beat from you. And from my lungs shouts out your praise!

    You’re so great and mighty, and still you call me to your side. You have made a way for my feet to walk and have given my legs strength to run. 

    To you alone, do I come–for you are all I need!

    Flood me with your tender mercy! Pour your love out on me.

    AJG 11.16.25

  • The Way You Treat Your Wife Reveals Your Heart 

    3 minute read

    A few months ago, I wrote an article on the importance of the way husbands treat their wives, here: 

    The Way You Treat Your Wife is Defining You As a Man

    This morning, I saw an opportunity for expansion of my original writing, and I found even more richness and goodness in this passage from 1 Peter 3 that I hope inspires you today. 

    “…In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

    Husbands, the way you treat your wife reveals two things; your heart, and your relationship with God. Understanding this well may bring a greater depth to your relationship with her and with God. 

    Here are 3 things I learned from examining this that I want to share with husbands:

    1. Understanding your view of her reveals your understanding of relationship with God.
    • If you are both in Christ, “…She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” She is your partner, not adversary or servant. You live life together. So, share and live in all of it, together with her!
    • She is a joint heir in God’s gift of the grace of life, through Christ. She shares EQUALLY in this inheritance.

    –Is this how you see her? 

    -How does this relate to your relationship with God? 

    1. Understanding what she shares in shows that you also understand what you have received, which reveals your heart.  
    • She shares equally in his grace. The same grace that you, if you have a relationship with Christ, have received and share in. 

    -Do you understand this grace, and the gratitude, humility, love, and compassion it can produce in your life?

    1. Understanding WHO is in her reveals a greater understanding of the value she holds, and how you should treat her. 
    • In Christ, the same Spirit that lives in you lives in her. 

    -Do you know and understand who is in her and who she is because of that?

    If you believe that what 1 Peter 3 says is true, then my hope is that you hold a deep reverence for who she is in His eyes. She is an equal heir of His gifts, grace and life. 

    If you do not have a relationship with God, it may be hard to fully understand what I mean by “in Christ”, or the identity of a wife who is in Christ. But, I encourage you to curiously explore the passage from 1 Peter and the points below, and reach out to me with any questions you have.

    ——————–>

    Husbands, what can you do moving forward?

    →Honor her. Think of 1-2 ways to do this today. 

    →Live with her in understanding and togetherness. 

    →Know the sacred equality of your spiritual partnership with her.

    →Experience the goodness of God’s gifts and promises, through her.

    →Embrace a richer relationship with God, including better prayer and intimacy with Him, by understanding who she is and knowing the value of treating her well.

    These words–”honor, live, know, experience, embrace”–are intended to show the abundance of life and relationship, first with God, and second with her, that can be found through loving and honoring her. 

    Husbands, my hope in writing here is 1) that this will bring a deeper thoughtfulness in your actions towards her, and 2) greater intimacy in relationship with God, and 3) greater connection with her. If you have questions or have a different perspective, please reach out to me below.

    Alex 

    November 8, 2025

    gerberxc@gmail.com

  • Finding Delight

    Can you think of someone or something that brings a deeply warm pleasure and satisfaction to your heart? Someone you enjoy being with so much that you never want to be away from them? 

    This is a taste of what delight is.

    To “delight” means to find great joy, pleasure and satisfaction. This is probably one of my favorite words. Forms of delight are mentioned around 100 times in my favorite writings, the Psalms.

    Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart”. And Psalms 147:11 says “…the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” 

    It blows my mind that God delights in us!!

    For me, it is easy to understand delight as a feeling, because it is exactly how I feel when I am around someone I love and enjoy deeply. But, delight is greater than just a warm feeling. True delight is deeply satisfying, and can be completely independent of our circumstances.

    And for me, more than I enjoy being “delighted” by someone, I want to see them delighted. Absolutely nothing brings me more delight than to see them delight in what is truly the MOST delightful–God Himself!

    Here’s the best part–delighting in God can continue our entire lives!!! The more we seek Him and know Him–the nearer we come to Him–the more we can find satisfaction, joy, and pleasure in Him! Our relationship with Him can be more delightful each day!

    This is fantastic news!! Can you imagine finding more and more delight in God throughout your life, and the richness that this will bring to your relationships on earth???

    I want YOU to experience delight. 

    I know you will find true delight the closer you get to Him. So–my biggest intention in writing is to inspire you to move closer, nearer, to God. 

    Psalm 65 says “what joy for those you choose to bring near, those who live in your holy courts.” 

    Come near to Him today. The delight you will find in presence with Him will overflow your heart!

    -Alex

    November 4, 2025

  • Lift Your Eyes: God is On The Move

    If we could train our eyes to glimpse even a sliver of all God is doing in this world, our prayers would never end. God is on the move—steady, present, and unmistakably faithful.

    Like the people in Jesus’ day, we wonder if God is good enough to supply for us too. What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?

    Maybe our refrigerators are full, yet our hearts are starving for real connection.
    Maybe our closets overflow and our bank accounts are stable, yet the table around us sits empty.
    Maybe we have everything the world calls “enough,” and yet our souls are restless and worn thin.
    In chasing fullness through things, experiences, and emotions, we’ve only stumbled into deeper emptiness.

    So often, our lack of prayer isn’t because God has turned away, but because our gaze has fallen—fixed on ourselves, our troubles, our tomorrows, our worries, our griefs, our wants, our desires.

    Perhaps that’s why the Psalms so often remind us to lift our eyes:
    “I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    where does my help come from?”

    And why Jesus urged His disciples,
    “Look at the birds of the air!
    They neither sow nor reap nor store away in barns,
    and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.”

    Just as a small child often needs to be trained to make good eye contact, we need to be trained to see what God is doing.

    The more you practice, the more you start to see.
    The more you see, the more you will pray.
    The more you pray, the more you will be blown away.
    Big or small, God is doing all.

    -Emily Lehman

  • Divorce: Communicating With Your Ex In An Understanding Way

    I’ll admit, this topic feels sucky to write about.

    To me, there seems to be nothing harder–and nothing more revealing to who I am–than how I communicate with my ex. Each day–each message–provides an opportunity to either choose selfish ambition, or to show up better and move forward with greater love, humility, understanding, and kindness. 

    I am sorry if you’ve had to walk this journey and you can relate to this. If you are in a situation where you have to communicate with your ex regularly, I hope this writing provides encouragement as well as something positive to reflect on in the future. 

    Learning

    I reviewed a year’s worth of my own messages sent to my ex. I was wondering, do I practice what I preach? Are my words, my tone and my attitudes conveyed reflective of the values I am encouraging others towards? 

    It did not take too long to realize that I am often missing the mark. Encouragingly, I could see that over the past year, personal growth and positive movement had happened, but slower than I would have wanted. And also, with more than one missed opportunity. Upon review, my messages tended to be “informationally heavy, corrective, and assertive of my own will”, rather than conveyed consistently with humility and gentle understanding.

    In reviewing my communication, this is what I have learned. I hope this will help you in your journey. 

    __________________________

    1. Give yourself grace. And, give your ex grace.

    2. Extend compassion and mercy in your words, messages, and corresponding actions. 

    3. Ask honest questions for deeper understanding of your ex, and yourself.

    4. Use your resources well. While the use of advanced technology to review mass amounts of text information can be helpful and powerful, there are also considerations to take into place. Be sure to use your own mind, and use it in partnership with true wisdom.* 

    5. Ask a friend, where appropriate, to review your attitude and your responses. Ask him or her to review your communication with the clear intention, “Am I seeking to understand my ex from the right perspective?” 

    6. Look at yourself first. Usually, the frustrations I may have towards my ex have often first been revealed within myself.*

    Please note, nothing here equates to passivity, weakness, or stepping away from personal responsibility. 

    __________________________

    But,

    You might say, “you have no clue…my ex is completely unreasonable.”

    Ok.

    But, this doesn’t change your responsibility to desire and pursue growth in personal character traits such as love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control, and goodness–in whatever situation, or person, you are communicating with.

    Final Thoughts

    There is certainly a difference in dynamics between seeking to understand my now-ex, versus seeking to understand her as my spouse. We are no longer one. We live separate lives. We make separate choices and decisions. The only overlap comes with regards to our children. 

    But, there is still a relevance and need of developing a greater understanding of her and what she desires–as the mother of our children. And to communicate well.

    __________________________

    Moving Forward

    →What is one thing you can review or change about your communication with your ex?

    __________________________

    * Resources:

    “…Look at yourself first”

    On Pride and Humility

    “…True Wisdom”

    True Direction When My Ship Goes Off Course

  • True Direction When My Ship Goes Off Course

    It’s not hard to drift.

    If you’ve ever been in a kayak–even in a light current–when you aren’t paying attention you can end up far from where you were. I’ve experienced this–I’ve drifted far from where I started and it took a good bit of effort to get back on track.

    When it comes to kayaks–and life in general–I am certainly not a perfect captain. I do–and will–make mistakes. But, I have been learning that my ability to anticipate danger or respond to my own mistakes and redirect course is critical.

    I am more and more convinced that two of the most important things that I can do is to quickly recognize when my ship is veering off course and redirect it towards the right course. And, learn how to stay on course.

    So then, how do I know the right course for my ship? How do I anticipate what lies ahead? How do I know which way to turn the ship in mindless drift? Or respond in the chaos of the storm?

    I have been discovering something that–to me–has the power to change my course for the best, and keep me truly on course when drift or challenges threaten to pull me away.

    This something, this power, is wisdom.

    This kind of wisdom doesn’t come from myself. I am ignorant–often distracted, blind, or unaware of my own drift or shortcomings. I need wisdom outside of myself. Wisdom that is real. And true. Wisdom from something–or someone greater. I need wisdom that has the power to keep me on course, and respond appropriately and rightly when I drift or disaster strikes.

    I found that the book of James (Chapter 3) speaks of this kind of wisdom. According to the author, this wisdom is:

    From God. And True.

    True wisdom is…

    • Authentic and real – it is never fake or manipulative.

    • Good to the core – its motives are pure.

    • Peace loving – it looks for harmony, not drama or division. 

    • Kind and gentle – it is strong but never harsh.

    • Willing to listen and adjust – it is open to reason, not stubborn.

    • Overflowing with mercy – it is quick to forgive, eager to help.

    • Full of good actions – it shows up in what we actually do.

    • Fair and unbiased – it treats everyone the same.

    • Genuine through and through – it has no hidden agenda.

    • Works for reconciliation – it mends relationships and builds unity.

    • Free of envy, rivalry, or ego – it is not driven by jealousy or pride.

    This wisdom is humble and is lived out in humble action. This wisdom has words and actions that bring stability, order, and real goodness. I’ve seen, tasted, felt and experienced this wisdom. It is true, and it is real. It brings great change. And it is found in relationship with Him, The One God who is perfect wisdom.

    If the one who knows us the best–the one who designed us–gives insight and wisdom towards the best course for our life, can we listen and consider applying this?

    Moving Forward: 

    –>Can you evaluate your decisions, responses, and actions by this wisdom?

    –>Do the decisions you are making and actions you are taking align with this wisdom? Is it time to re-evaluate?

    Thoughts or feedback? gerberxc@gmail.com

  • From Hopeless to Alive: My Story

    I hope that this encourages you, and if you think it will help one person, please share.

    -Alex

  • God Stories: Hope–Josh Robinson

    Josh has journeyed through the darkest places, yet his story has brought hope and gratitude to many people.