In asking several married men the question “What does it look like for you to give honor to your wife?”, I received this response and wanted to share it.

“The first and most important way I try to honor my wife is by rightly honoring the Lord (Rom.
14:8; 1 Cor. 10:31; Cor. 5:14-15). How I order my own life with Christ drives how my life is
ordered with my wife and family. God’s honor brings honor to the people who are surrounded by
the atmosphere of Christ’s praise. This is always the hardest thing to do consistently in my life.
But when I do live for God’s honor, I find that relational blessings often follow.

There are other specific things I do to show and give honor to my wife. First Peter 3:7-9 gives a
good godly template and pattern for evaluating how I treat her and what I do for her.

Using the 1 Peter 3 template, the second way I honor her is with the God-gift of “time”. I enjoy
spending time with her – doing things together, doing things she likes, doing things we both like,
talking about important things and unimportant things. She knows I consider her my best friend
and trusted companion. We especially like to spend time outdoors – hiking, gardening,
walking…enjoying the gift of God’s good creation. These outdoor activities are great relational
investments that pay high happiness returns.

The third way I honor my wife is through worship and devotion time together. We start our days
reading the Bible in our sunroom together. I enjoy a cup of hot coffee; she enjoys a cup of hot
cocoa. This often leads to meaningful spiritual conversations. It also helps strengthen each other
in greater faithfulness to the Lord, which leads to greater faithfulness in the marriage.

Another way I honor my wife is through sharing responsibilities together – for the home, for
children and grandchildren, for community. While we each have our own sphere of influence and
responsibility, we generally don’t do any of these without involvement, communication, and
support of the other.

There are other ways we show honor to each other – like praise and gratitude expressed. These
are often spontaneous but yet intentional.

In summary, giving honor isn’t a passive marital activity work or marriage spectator sport.
Honoring your wife requires both intentionality and commitment, both to love the Lord and love
your wife.

If you want to know how well I am doing at showing honor to my wife, you will need to ask her. Her opinion is more objective and has the most value. I know I can do better, and I know that
with God all things are possible.”

-An anonymous husband